Yuks from Yakima: Preacher Retires at 32

Note: This is the third of a four-part series of true, church-related humor. These are true, unembellished stories that occurred while we were pastoring the Yakima, Washington Wesleyan Church.

Emory attended our church a while before starting one of his own. He was what the former pastor would call "a jack-leg preacher". (I do not know what the term means either, but you can ask Brother E. E. Meeks, and I do not think it was too positive!) He found it hard to take instructions, or even suggestions, from his pastor or anyone else. He thought his way was best (as this story will prove).

About the time I landed in Yakima, the Saturday evening church page informed us that Reverend Hemphill was "retiring" and heading back to Indiana. Quite unusual for a preacher in his thirties.

Pastor Ed Meeks tells of one of Emory's moving experiences (if not this one, another). Ed and his older brother, Bob, was helping Emory load his family's good on a top carrier, supported only by four, narrow, corded strips hooked to the car's roof channels.

Repeatedly one or both brothers warned Emory "that maybe he had on enough." His self-confident reply was that it would take a lot more, and kept stacking household goods higher and higher.

When he had 3 and a half to four feet of stuff on the carrier, he carefully tarped and lashed it with ropes, and then said, "Hop in boys, and let's try her out!".Warily Ed and Bob crawled in.

Emory headed down Third Avenue towards downtown cautiously increasing speed. All seemed to be well, so he bumped it up to faster speeds gaining confidence right along.

By that time they were nearly in the very center of downtown Yakima, and both boys allowed themselves to relax a bit. As they approached First and Yakima Avenues (the exact center of downtown Yakima), and without warning Emory says, "Let's see how she holds in a stop", and slams on the brakes. Those light straps snapped like string, and all that top carrier load slip off the roof, off from the hood, and all over the busiest intersection of Yakima!

It was one of those times when you could wish yourself invisible, but there was nothing to do but help this foolish preacher pick up all of his "stuff" and stuff it somewhere in the car.

I do not know what happened to Emory, but I hope he stayed "retired"!