"The Rump Lump"

Introductory Comments: I live every day of my life, in all that I do, with one supreme goal, and this is to bring glory to the God of the Bible... in this world and the one to come. I earnestly urge the reader to continually keep this in mind as this true - and lengthy - story unfolds, as the use of the first person is obviously necessary. WLB.

Jesus, or one of his attending angels, was in my bedroom early one recent Saturday morning, and I did not even know that I had been visited by an unearthly Being until about the twelve noon hour.

Some twelve to fifteen years past I noticed an irritation to my behind, about where my wallet rested in the right hip pocket. During long driving, it was necessary to continually keep shifting away from that sore spot to ease the discomfort.

In time this became infected and involved a trip to our dermatologist. He said his necessary "A-has" and "O-hos" and identified it as a large fatty tumor, non-malignant, but badly infected, and made an appointment for me to see a surgeon.

After the rather undignifying prepping by his nurse, and with both of them "Oo-ing" and "Ah-ing" as they viewed the offensive tumor on my right gluteus maximus, he concluded that he could either cut it out or lance it. If he excised it, it would necessitate a surgery at a later date, repeated packing for awhile, and a lengthy healing process. If he lanced it, it could come right back again if I did not protect and care for it.

Upon opting for the immediate lancing, and after a couple of local shots, he proceeded... to which the nurse rather gleefully reported to both of us, "Oh, wow! Just like a volcano!" It appeared they enjoyed the show.

From that day I carefully guarded my "rump lump," following the surgeon's suggestion to stop wearing the wallet in a hip pocket, and protecting it - as best as possible - from serious bumps and irritations. As with many of us with similar "physical irregularities," eventually my "rump lump" became just another part of my body.

This "rump lump" - though generally forgotten and accepted as merely an inconvenience - was an ever-present reminder of something to be protected, and an obvious protrusion each time I showered.

This summer I started experiencing sharp, severe, stabbing current of pain in my right lower abdomen. One surgeon described it as "just above the pelvic bone." They occurred periodically... Thank You, Lord! ...and briefly... Thank You again, Lord! ...but intensely! No comment, Lord. They came so suddenly and intensely that all I could do was double up and grab!

My unprofessional diagnosis: appendicitis, of course. A battery of blood tests disavowed that, along with with a long list of possibilities, finally settling on a pulled groin muscle. I was told to "take it easy for awhile."

These sudden, intense attacks continued in an off-again, on-again manner for 5 or 6 weeks, with days filled by momentarily wondering, "When will the next attack come?" Days and nights this eroded peace of mind for our household, any semblance of normalcy, and all the while chewing away at faith's flickering light.

A crisis occurred on a recent afternoon while I was doubled over seven times in a five hour period. That resulted in a spirited call to a surgeon friend whose immediate advice was to insist on a CT scan at a local ER. All of us "participants" were running out of options, and the scan revealed no kidney stones that "just had to be there." After it appeared that every conceivable test discovered no tangible reason for such intense, stabbing jolts of pain, I drove home through the dark in deep disappointment, wondering before my God, "Lord, what shall I do now?"

I dreaded going to bed... wondering if tonight I will be again suddenly awakened to sharp, stabbing pain?

On September 27, 2008, about 1:30 or 2:00 a.m., sure enough! I was again awakened by three sharp, stabbing jolts of pain, but not in the accustomed bladder area at all! Instead they were on the right side of my behind... gluteous maximus, posterior, whatever. Even in half asleep reason I thought, "What on earth are these (not unpleasant at all!) shocking jolts of pain doing on my behind?" Then I went right back to sleep.

The hour of 4:00 to 5:00 each morning is my scheduled prayer time, and as I prayed, the early morning incident never even penetrated the edge of my mind, but God did help me to place every affected area of my body in His hands, pain or no pain. I felt better, but actually had no more of a sense of Divine touch than at scores of other times over the past number of weeks.

Regular Saturday duties were perfuctorily performed until close to the noon hour. As impossible as it may seem to me now, those early morning jolts of "whatever" to my right bun had completely slipped my mind... until I began to soap myself in the shower.

As I soaped... praying and talking to Jesus about "my lower abdominal pains and what to do now about them?", through my mind flitted the thought about that ever-present lump. I could not feel it as I soaped. I rubbed and felt... and felt and rubbed... and into my mind instantly flooded the early morning puzzling "jolts," out of place on my backside.

Tears sprang into my eyes as the realization that the lump was totally gone!!! Quickly drying and re-drying confirmed the truth. That lump was gone, and no amount of probing or investigating could discover it!

I cannot explain why God does what He does - the way that He does - or the timing or meaning of it all. I came to see the entire, painful groin area as a battleground - as a grueling test to my faith. This was where I was. This was where I had been praying for weeks for His touch. This was where I needed an answer to my flagging faith. This was where I needed help.

But He touched and instantly healed something else - something that I did not ask for or was even thinking of. He wanted me to know that He was aware - that He was involved - that He was in control - that He knew I was at the end of my rope. It made me smile inside, and I had to wonder if He was smiling with me? What a wonderful, gracious Lord!